Dude Meister Blogs 2.0

In the words of clichéd dialogue, "that went well"...

Approximately 11 weeks ago my summer began, and I made a promise to you (the world), and me, myself (or 'I' as he has also been called), that I would write and that I would be truthful and generous and varied in said writings. I have not. Written. Anything.

So tonight, I apologise for my misgivings; my failure in motivation, inspiration and productivity. I apologise for my laziness, my boringness and my absence. But most of all, and by default most importantly, I apologise if you do not care about any of this. For surely, an apathetical audience is an unsatisfied one, with which blame lies solely with me. Myself. Or, 'I'.

Like the end of a second act, things are looking bad. The protagonist is losing, everything's going wrong, the antagonist has the upper hand. Feel free to slot me into any role you like in that scenario, but the truth of the matter is this; I am down, but not out. The darkest times supply the strongest rises (just ask Batman), and that is every bit what I intend to do. (Rise, not Batman).

This is Dude Meister Blogs 2.0. A little bigger. A little better. A little more badass.

From here on out (or until I hit another lapse), this is how it's going to be. Clearer, Copiouser, Cleverer. And all brought to you by the beauty of scheduling, regularity and alliteration:

• Tuesdays are for Trailers, as they've always been, with the ever time-consuming popular, Trailer Tuesday.
• In Web Weaver, I'll be bringing you a menagerie of original web-content I've found along my travels into the WWW. Ideally this would be for a Wednesday, but that'll be a bit tough to guarantee, so these will just come along as they will, any day.
• Thursday will be a deep, unrelenting journey into philosophical and psychological lands, usually focusing on some aspect of pop-culture, no doubt. But something so intellectual needs a genius name, nay, it deserves one. Thinky Thursday it is!
• And finally, the accursed day of Rebecca Black. Fridays - not all of them, just occasionally - will be reserved for Film Content, in some way of another, from yours falsely truly.
• In between that, I'll try and churn out at least one review of something each week. Most likely there'll be some light, list-type filler posts here and there too, 'cause they're always fun and easy. God help my social life. Or failing his existence, friends. Please? Anyone?

It'll all kick off this coming week, and with a stretch of effort, most weeks after that. Because it's time I upped my game, and became the moral centre of the show, to be the integrity! Welcome to 2.0 people.

See you back here next September for the inevitable 3.0!

ATR

Kudos to anyone who picked up on what I was kind of riffing off with this; you have good taste in Sorkin-created HBO shows!

Trailer Tuesday: The Smurfs

No, it's not Avatar 2...

Yeah, The Smurfs have got a movie! The little blue creatures are hitting the big screen this summer, in their 3D theatrical debut. Prepare to see a lot of blue. Here's the synopsis:

 "When the evil wizard Gargamel chases the tiny blue Smurfs out of their village, they tumble from their magical world and into ours -- in fact, smack dab in the middle of Central Park. Just three apples high and stuck in the Big Apple, the Smurfs must find a way to get back to their village before Gargamel tracks them down."

  - Columbia Pictures




And here's the trailer:

A bit of a "back-to-basics" breakdown:

• 0:17 - OMG Smurf Village! Mushrooms an' all!  
• 020 - Smurf riding stork - their preferred method of transport.
• 0:24 - Slightly Incredibly creepy Gargamel breaks into Smurf land. I'll be honest, this shot/acting looks incredibly cheap...
• 0:31 - And then the douchebag lets his cat, Azrael, free on the poor Smurfs.
• 0:40 - Of course! All water-hyperspace travel leads to NYC!
• 0:42 - A good shot of the main Smurfs - From left to right - Brainy Smurf, Gutsy Smurf, Jokey Smurf, Papa Smurf, Grumpy Smurf and Smurfette.
• 0:53 - Neil Patrick Harris (NPH) discovers his new found Smurf buddies. On a side note, inside the box is a Belgian/French magazine - a possible reference to the Smurfs original creation?
• 0:57 - Jayma Mays also stars alongside NPH, as his wife.
• 1:12 - Modern Family's Sofia Vergara also joins the cast as Patrick(NPH)'s boss.
• 1:15 - Clumsy/Jokey (I'm not sure which) gets busy in the bathroom.
• 1:39 - This Blue Man gag always stifles a chuckle out of me...
• 1:43 - Papa Smurf goes Rambo.
• 1:58 - Hat-chutes FTW!
• 2:04 - Smurfette is actually voiced by, would you believe it, Katy Perry!
• 2:07 - And there's some more stork riding for you.
• 2:16 - And, in true Smurf fashion, the little guys recite the classic theme tune.
• 2:27 - You can get your Smurf on, August 11th in 3 Dimensions.

So that's The Smurfs. Very Smurfing Smurf but not a lot of Smurf Smurfing going on however. But the Smurf of the CGI is very Smurf. I will admit I'm not a big fan of the whole "Gargamel gets smacked by lots of different things" stuff, which makes me fear that we're heading down the Yogi Bear angle of classic cartoon ruining Hollywood-ism trying to make it funny for kids. Sigh... When will they learn that kids aren't always into that kind of thing. I mean look at the Pixar movies; great kid-friendly films with tons of charm and little to no pain distribution. Fingers crossed for not too much of this slapstick then...  

  

   However, the rest looks pretty awesome especially NPH's time with The Smurfs, (which looks to contain far more chemistry than Jason Lee with Alvin and The Chipmunks *shudder*) and plus the fact it's set in New York, where I have been, and I love that "I've been there" feeling I get. And I'm hoping for some proper time with the Smurfs Village, because it did look pretty sharp from that small section in the trailer.   

Anyway, that's all for today's Smurfarific trailer, but before I Smurf out, I'd like to give a big shout out to my Uncle Sean: A life-long Smurf fan who will most likely never speak to me again for this. Ha ha, here's to you Sean! Over an out.