Kickin' In The Front Seat or Sittin' In The Back Seat?

You may wish to watch this before reading.  And make sure you are appropriately seated.

Thank god she didn't catch the bus.

The modern-day teenager is faced with countless problems as they crawl through their perilous journey to adult-hood, but there is one problem that really does stand out among them. When presented with their friends in a car, which seat should they take? It's a tough decision that could take hours, if not days, of deliberation to come to some sort of conclusion. Just two options, but so many pros and cons to each...

 Take the front seat, for example. If you decide to "kick" in there, you'll get a great view of the road and all it's surroundings, but you're then burdened with the possible seater poker behind, and the loss of social interaction with those in the back. However, if choosing to "sit" in the back seat, you lose all the leg-room and space of the front. And hence, you see the conundrum.

   All over the world, teenagers are facing this catastrophic dilemma, and to no avail. Let's take his teenage girl, Rebecca we'll call her. She's busy all week; Mondays are manic, Tuesdays go with the wind, Thursdays are dull and so on. So as you can imagine, by Friday, Rebecca is shattered. She wakes up in the morning, gets a bowl of cereal and just makes it to the bus stop just in time. But hang on a sec, because she's spotted her friends in their brand new car! Naturally, Rebecca ignores the fact that her friends are far too young to actually drive, and gets on with the problem at hand (confident that the police won't pull them over or question their age). Should she Kick it in the front seat or sit it in the back seat? The clock's ticking as she stands there pondering the predicament, leaving her fellow buddies in endless head bops and off-beat taps, leaving them vulnerable to possible head-injuries or brain-hemorrhages... Which seat should she take?

 And all this on a Friday! Who'd of thought it! That's the last thing you want to be happening to you at the end of a week. I speak from personal experience when I say that on Fridays, all I want to do is get down because I'm looking forward to the weekend, and don't need the hassle of seat-picking ruining my day.

   Kids 20 years ago never had this kind of issue, of course. All they had to worry about was just getting to school. Never have they had to go through this kind of pressure, which is why it's vitally important for parents to discuss the seating arrangements of a car at a very young age for their children. Poor education in the area will leave teenagers, just like Rebecca, unprepared for such serious situations resulting in a nasty surprise for the innocent teen. So next time you're out and about, make sure you're fully prepared for what seat you are going to take...

Trailer Tuesday: The Three Musketeers

After my tardiness last week, here's an action packed new trailer for the upcoming The Three Musketeers, to make up for it. Bring on the 17th century (I think) sword-fighting frenzy:

"The hot-headed young D'Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war." - Plot Description

You know where to click for HD, I presume. Hint: It's about a fingers length above. Unless you are Liam Redford. In which case it is half that.

A B-B-Break it down:

• 0:10 - Ooh, France.
• 0:14 - Bad-ass masked guy with dual swords emerges from water all stealthy like.
• 0:16 - The he destroys some guys with the swords. Turns out they got crossbow bolts in... Sweet.
• 0:20 - Cloaked dude making a splash with boat driver.
• 0:22 - First look at the fabled three. From let to right: Aramis (Luke Evans), Athos (Matthew MacFadyen) and Porthos (Ray Stevenson).
• 0:24 - The young musky-wannabe, D'Artagnan (Logan Lermen).
• 0:25-0:27 - Each Musketeer has an individual shot, in the same order as above.
• 0:31 - Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil) as the films chief antagonist, Milady de Winter.
• 0:33 - Ooh, pretty!
• 0:37 - Cloaked leap of faith.
• 0:41 - Sword-fighting on a hill.
• 0:44 - Sword-fighting in a courtyard.
• 0:46 - Rows of black and red guards.
• 0:47 - Goddess-like figure atop a big building. No idea if this peron is of importance.
• 0:47 - Ah crap, she fell... 
• 0:48 - Orlando Bloom, looking slightly sinister as the Duke of Buckingham. Nice guns.
• 0:49 - Chain-fighting in a cell.
• 0:51 - Awesome slow-mo sword clash with Milady de Winter.
• 0:52 - Sword-fighting on a rooftop.
• 0:54 - Sword-fighting in a room.
• 0:57 - Flame-thrower cannons - WANT.
• 1:00 - WTF?! Ship coming over building/place...
• 1:03 - Insane Matrix bullet dodging - Renaissance Style.
• 1:05 - Smoochy, smoochy.
• 1:07 - D'Artagnan jumping from exploding tower.
• 1:07 - And he's wearing cuffs. Must get imprisoned at some point.
• 1:11 - 4 v 40. Sounds like a fair fight considering all the sword-fighting these guys do.
• 1:12-1:16 - And that consequent battle.
• 1:20 - And it's in 3D, if you hadn't noticed the other hints dropped.

 Well, we'll have to wait until October to see if this turns out to be any good. The cast is pretty decent with some fairly known actors. No-one too big I don't think, but enough "where have I seen them before?" actors to constitute a look in. And look at it this way; It's got to be better than the 1993 Charlie Sheen version, right? And yes, I am deadly serious about that. On a side note, this trailer reminded me a lot of Assassin's Creed 2. See you next week, Trailer-Goers.

The Sunday Supdate: 27/03/11

Aha, my good friends, so glad you could join me on this fine Sunday evening. Apologies for my unacceptable absence last week, I don't know what came over me. Anyway, I'm here now, so let's get my Supdate on.

Aah, Domo is so awesome...

 As you may have seen by now, I have passed the 1000 hits milestone by over 100 now, and I gotta say, it feels good to see 4 digits up there. I know I say it every week, but thanks again to everyone and anyone who's even had the remotest peek on the blog. Every little helps, so keep the views coming! 5 digits, here we come!

  I blasted out a couple of RE:View's this weekend too, catching some of you off guard I believe, especially todays Limitless review which I didn't even know was coming. I keep updating and editing that by the way, so you may want to check it again for my slight change in opinion. (It's only about 1 sentence different, changes nothing and I'm just using this as an excuse to squeeze a few more hits out of you...)

 I could really use one of those pills from Limitless though, would really help out in certain situations. I could type all this in about 132 seconds, complete my GCSEs within a week and start university next month. By next year my name will be draped across every sign, billboard and paper in the world, though they'd have to use a small font as my name is remarkably long... Plus by that time I would probably have been chased down by some pretty mean Russian Gangsters, been accused of murder and experienced countless blackouts of time...

 Spoilerish Day-Dream over now, and I'm tired. Guess it's time for some Spoilerish Night-Dreams. See you soon, folks. Oh and I'll make sure to get a new poll up and running soon.

RE:View: Limitless

Sex, Drugs and De Niro.

 As far as charismatic actors go, I think Bradley Cooper takes the cake. Characters such as "Face" in The A-Team and Phil in The Hangover have served him well in this aspect so far, and his starring role in the new Limitless movie is no different.

Cooper is Eddie Morra, a dead-beat NY writer struggling to make ends meet. But when a chance meeting with an ex-brother in law introduces him to a new drug called NZT-48, Eddie's life is transformed overnight. Now able to access the full 100% of his brain (as opposed to the supposed 20% the rest of us do), Eddie becomes an established author, bi-lingual master and stock-market legend in just a few money-and-sex-fueled weeks. But with all this power comes a price and Eddie's going to find that out the hard way: Enter haunting blackouts and some ticked off bad guys...

 The plot's certainly interesting enough, and it's a very original idea that looks at the themes of drugs, corporate corruption and paranoia. Unfortunately however, the script is less impressive. It's bumpy at times (especially towards the second half) and feels like it can't decide what plot device to stick with, constantly switching between different narrative directions and leaving some gaping plot-holes in it's wake.

 Luckily, the lopsided script is patched over by some genuinely innovative visuals; there's a great difference in cinematography between the times our protagonist is using the drug and when he isn't. For instance, once the pill's been popped, colours become vibrant and alive, and some great uses of technical shots are creatively deployed with dizzying zooms and POV-style fish-eye. When Eddie's sober however, things take on a dingy grey look that really sets the mood for the distressing "cold-turkey" scenes.

 Performances are solid, with Cooper dominating the piece from start to finish with his aforementioned charisma and suave style. And although his thought narration can occasionally sound a little flat, it adds humour to the package, and his transition from grungy hobo to super-smooth genius is just stunning. Even though her role fells a little "on/off" in terms of narrative, Abbie Cornish pulls through nicely as Eddie's girlfriend, Lindy, and Robert De Niro is on usual form as powerful businessman Carl Van Loon, despite the disappointingly dolled-down  appearance he has.

The plot does hold its own towards the end though, and delivers an unpredictable conclusion that shouldn't really work, but does. The blending of tension, drama and humour succeeds amongst this distinct tale, granting audiences with a pleasingly smart experience for those who are tired of all out explosion filled action movies.

 Limitless is by no means a bad film, and sustains the techno-thriller vibe it's aiming for. It's visuals and audio are well matched and innovative, the actors do not disappoint and there are some genuinely commendably clever moments in there. The fun and brashness of a decent story is blatantly present, but it's just a shame that the script doesn't quite coincide with the intelligence of it's premise.

3.75/5 Stars

RE:View: The Quantum Thief

Yay, a book!

  The Quantum Thief is the debut sci-fi crime thriller from Finnish Scotsman (yeah, really), Hannu Rajaniemi. Set in a deep and technological world some centuries into the future, the plot follows cunning inter-planetary thief, Jean de Flambeur as he tries to piece together his lost memories on the Moving Cities of Mars, after being broken free from a cruel and relentless game-theoretic "Dilemma Prison" by the mysterious Mieli and her dazzling Spider-Ship, Perhonen. Ridiculously long sentences aside, this is a stunning hard sci-fi novel "peopled by bizzare post-humans but powered by very human motives of betrayal, revenge and jealousy."

  Starting out as a clever heist tale, The Quantum Thief soon explodes into a sprawling and engaging story of elaborate crime, twisted romance, mind-boggling conspiracy and heart-racing action, all neatly wrapped in some interesting and thought inducing high-end sci-fi concepts. From privacy gevulots and zoku tribes to exomemory and the "Quiet", the book is littered with these complicated and often unexplained terms from start to finish. In the first few chapters, things like this are rapidly dropped upon the reader, most likely leaving you with questions that will only be answered through perseverance. And although this may turn away the impatient reader, those that stick around will find great satisfaction in the way Rajaniemi unofficially reveals the meaning of his puzzling concepts, through natural character involvement and well placed dialogue.

 The characters themselves are equally as deep as the universe they populate, with the majority having complex and intricate backgrounds that shape their poignant personalities. The thief, Jean, shines as the lovable anti-hero protaganist trying to rekindle his lost memories, while using all his charm and wit along the way. His accomplace Mieli and her modest spaceship, Perhonen, are as mysterious as they are bad-ass and young martian detective Isidore adds intellect and perception to the proceedings, while implementing a cat-and-mouse element to the narrative.

 But what really shines in The Quantum Theif is the words themselves. Literally every chapter has a killer beginning, such as the very first line itself: "As always, before the warmind and I shoot each other, I try to make small talk." and my personal favourite: "It is only a few steps from death back to life.". It's these few words that will drag you in to the story, and an incetive to read "just one more chapter then...".

 Perspective-wise, the book's split in two, as in some is written in third person (when following Mieli or Isidore) and some in first (following Jean). This original style doesn't just keep it fresh, but is a nice touch from an inquisitive readers stand point, getting the best of both worlds with the thought tracking of 1st person and the unbiased views of 3rd.

 Action and drama are handled extremely well, providing a perfect balance of the two. No fight is dragged out too long, no conversation lasts more than it needs to be and the light-romance never gets soppy or awkward, resulting in a superb overall package of all the best novel elements.

  As the story unfolds, there are gob-smacking twists, awe-inspiring mysteries and hell of a lot of awesome ideas. A new race evovled from MMORPG guilds? Futuristic vigilantes? Time as a currency? There's so much here that it's an overwhelming achievement to Rajaniemi that he's crammed it all in, while keeping well developed characters and a clever but somewhat classic story intact. And what with this being the first third of a planned trilogy, you can expect a lot more from this talented new author.

9/10 - The worst part was finishing it.

A Taste Of Fiction

As you may have noticed by now, I enjoy writing. So, for a nice change I thought I'd post a little fiction I'd written. It's nothing special, just something I wrote a while ago, that I thought might provide a good filler for the blog. Anyway, here it is:

The wind whistled through the open window, providing a light breeze for old man inside. The old man whistled back, and to his delight, he made quite the melody. He sat there for hours, peacefully watching the clam outdoors and never tiring of the same sights. Every falling leaf, every gliding bird, even the odd car horn would endlessly fascinate him.
   After a long while, the old man got up and wandered slowly around the compact room in search of his coat. "I know I'll regret it if I leave without it.", he thought to himself. Eventually, he found it, tucked away neatly in a dusty old cupboard. Slowly he strode toward the window. Carefully, he flung open the rusty hatches and pushed the outer frame out as far as he could. Taking one last good look at the tranquility before him, the old man felt an overwhelming sense of contentment upon him.

And jumped...

So, that's it. Short but sweet, I guess. Maybe a tad bit depressing? But yeah, that was just a little something I thought I'd share. Now apologies for the absence recently, as I believe I may have missed my 2 weekly regulars... Been busy, you know how it is. Hopefully I'll be back on track next week though, so stay tuned folks. ; )

Movie Casting News

It's been a busy week for casting, with roles being designated left, right and centre. So I, being the generous type I am, thought I would share all the news with my fellow peers (that's you). First up, it's the two DC big hitters with the latest actor confirmations...

 Superman: Man of Steel, is Zack Snyder's upcoming reboot of the world most iconic superhero. Already in the role of Clark Kent himself, is English actor Henry Cavill, who you can see star alongside Mickey Rourke in the upcoming Immortals. But on Thursday, it was officially announced that the long rumoured Kevin Costner will play Jonathan "Pa" Kent in the ambitious new take on the Superman franchise. And, if you didn't know already, Diane Lane will be appearing with Costner as faithful wife and mother, Martha Kent. So that's the Kent family sorted, now how about the villain? Well, as a matter of fact it has been rumoured that LOTR star Viggo Mortensen could be in talks to play uber kryptonian baddie, General Zod, the same Zod responsible for the destruction of planet Krypton itself... I'll keep my eyes peeled for any more news on this one.

Kneel before Zod?

  Onto the much anticipated Dark Knight Rises now, Christopher Nolan's final piece of his Batman trilogy. With Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman and Tom Hardy already suiting up for the role of Bane, this is shaping up to be one hell of a cast, even without the newcomers I'm about to reveal. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who you may remember from Nolan's mind-boggling Inception, has now been officially cast in some sort of role after months of speculation. Could he be another villain? Azrael perhaps? Or, dare I say it, Robin? Also now being "eyed" for the role of "street smart Gotham Girl" is Indie sensation Juno Temple. Let more speculation reign as fans try to decipher what this mysterious role might mean. Harley Quinn, anyone? Maybe Batgirl (unlikely)? Or, dare I dare say it, a female Robin? ... Only time will tell, but one thing you can be sure of is that Nolan knows what he's doing, so just have faith, people.

Hmmm...

 Finally, the much anticipated (well for me anyway) protagonist role in the adaptation of The Hunger Games books has been confirmed. Jennifer Lawrence is officially Katniss Everdeen, the young penniless girl who must enter into a brutal tournament where kids are pitted against each other in this dystopian future sci-fi thriller. As a fan of the books myself, I was rooting for True Grit star, Hailee Steinfield for the role as I felt her look much more suited the novels description. However I will settle for Lawrence, as it seems she's quite the actress after her many nominations for her performance in Winter's Bone. But we'll have to wait until 2012 to see if it's any good. I've got my fingers crossed.

 That would be all for now it seems, but I'm sure to be doing something or other quite soon. Plus, only 5 more hits until the big 1K! Could this article pull it through to the first thousand views? Lets hope, now hit your F5's people! See you soon.

**********************UPDATE***********************

Hot off the press; the new villain for the Spidey reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man, has been confirmed as Lizard and is being played by Welsh actor Rhys Ifans. The news comes after an actor in a minor role in the film dropped a few too many hints on a radio show this morning.

Think "The Hulk", but with scales and sharper teeth...

 The minor actor, C.Thomas Howell (who may be in a bit of shit right now) revealed that *SPOILERS* he plays a man who's son gets caught up in between a battle with Lizard and Spider-Man on the Manhattan Bridge. Spidey then saves the boy and returns him to his father. However, Howell also said:

    "There is some payback there at the end of the movie. Spider-Man is kind of hurting. I help him when all of the other people won't. Part of the story is, the nation thinks he might be a bad guy. They don't know what to think. Because of my experience on the bridge with my kid, I know he is a good guy. I pitch in and help out at the end. That is the best way."
  
A few beans too many were spilt today, I fear... Oh well, it's always good to get some accidental but official leaks on what's coming up. The new Spider-Man comes out July 2012 in 3D with The Social Network's Andrew Garfield as the famous web-slinger, and by the sounds of it, it's going to rock.


********************************UPDATE******************************


  Joseph Gordon-Levitt's role in The Dark Knight Rises has now been officially confirmed. Robin? No. Riddler? Not quite. Azrael? Nope. Mafia and crime boss Alberto Falcone, ladies and gentlemen. 

Hold onto your seats, because this movie's going to be a hell of a ride!

Son of the infamous former mafia leader, Carmine Falcone, (who you may remember for Batman Begins), Alberto will be another "realistic" villain for Batman to face, and could potentially take the trilogy full circle as it was Carmine who initially triggered Bruce Wayne to go and train. So a nice little battle between the two would tie things up nicely in terms of overarching narratives. Well played, Mr Nolan, well played...

Trailer Tuesday: Super

Super is the new "Indie" movie from Slither director, James Gunn, looking for a new take on the superhero genre, starring The Office's Rainn Wilson as the protagonist and Ellen Page (Inception, Juno) as the quirky sidekick. While you could argue that it's an almost direct rip off of Kick-Ass or certain characters within it, it does seem somewhat distant from the smash-hit comic adaptation. The use of shaky, mock-umentary style cameras and the perhaps more realistic violence leads me to believe that this will be a unique film, regardless of the lack of an original plot.

      "After his wife Sarah (Tyler) hooks up with a smooth-talking drug dealer named Jock (Kevin Bacon), Frank (Wilson) transforms himself into superhero "The Crimson Bolt". Then with the help of a trusty wrench, Frank wages a one man war on crime. Libby (Page), a local comic book store employee, transforms herself into a superheroine named "Boltie" and becomes Frank's sidekick. The two then team up to take Jock down." - Wikipedia Plot Summary


Here's the awesome looking trailer: 

Time to break it down, even though it's pretty much self-explanatory:

•  0:06 - Looks like thought monologuing is going to play a big part in understanding Wilson's character, as we hear him losing his wife.
• 0:11 - Here's an example of those shaky cams I mentioned, as Frank (Wilson) confronts Bacon about his wife.
• 0:20 - Frank touches the car in a daring attempt to piss off the Baconater.
• 0:23 - And the subsequent beat down...
• 0:30 - :'(
• 0:32 - Libby (Page) shows Frank the ropes on the superhero career path.
• 0:42 - Frank chooses the illusive "Wrench" to smash some bad guys. A comedic choice, it would seem.
• 0:45 - Obviously an early concept design for Frank's costume as "The Crimson Bolt".
• 0:47 - And the costume itself. Looks very DIY and colourful, yet fits so well into the movie.
• 0:50 - Frank in costume, saying his new catchphrase: "Shut up crime!".
• 0:53 - Though these comic-style fight scenes may look tacky, I feel it helps build character to the movie and gives it a certain "IN YOUR FACE" tone.
• 0:55 - Laugh inducing stuff here, as The Crimson Bolt tackles a criminal into some unsuspecting handicap.
• 0:56-1:02 - More brutal shots of The Crimson Bolt hitting people and waving a patronising finger after.
• 1:03 - That's certainly an interesting statement to advertise...
• 1:06 - Dropping a brick on a ladies head sure is nasty. Looks like this hero's a weency bit psychotic... Loving the "CRACK" effect though.
• 1:13 - Libby's costume now for "Boltie". Not as effective as Franks, but still fits the tone. However, I do find it a bit of a coincidence that it matches the colour scheme of a certain Kick-Ass...
• 1:23 - More comedy now, as the duo "Wait" for crime.
• 1:37 - A look at the cartoon aspect of the film here, with sketchy versions of both Libby and Frank. Whether or not these section will be used in the actual movie, I'm afraid I can't tell you.
• 1:39 - More of the brash, tacky style comic visuals.
• 1:41 - Wolverine claws? Sweet!
• 1:46 - YAY! Explosions!
• !:47-1:55 - Cast call, including Nathan Fillion for some reason. It'll be interesting what his super-hero role entails.
• 2:00 - Epic walk through flames. A must for any revenge seeking protags.
• 2:02 - And the title. Nice and simple with "SUPER" there, and a flashy font to go.
• 2:06 - Guns don't fare well with The Crimson Bolt...

  So that is Super. Do you think it looks super though? I know it's definitely on my "Must" list for the upcoming months, (and so may be gracing your eyes with a succulent RE:View of it) but I can see some sort of division over opinions on it, a marmite situation if you will, because of it's brash and "IN YOUR FACE"-ness, sort of like Kick-Ass and Scott Pilgrim vs The World before it. That's all for today, but keep coming back for more doodles, trailers, RE:Views, news, articles, Supdates and just genuine awesomeness.  

Doodley Days

Fluff-tache

Turban Wasp - A Sikh Wasp looking to find his father who's been trapped inside a glass, and get revenge on those responsible- any way he can!

Pointy-Faced Minion Head

The Sunday Supdate: 13/03/11

It's Sunday. It'Sup. It's a Date.

Let's do this.

"Get ya blank piece of papers folded together to look like a paper that no-one has written on!"

 So this week saw me plagued with the ailment of flu, forcibly chained to a sofa-bed for a 3-day Scrubs marathon of achy-ness.  And for that same reason, I am unable to write up my planned article on the Forest Band Night, because unfortunately I couldn't go... I heard it was good though, so maybe that's good enough for you?

  Anyway, I'm nearing the 1000 hits mile-stone, so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all and everyone who has clicked on. Whether it was out of interest, jealousy or plain boredom, here's a big cheers to you 919 people so far who've read something or other. Oh, and it turned out my last two pieces have been the most popular yet,  amassing nearly 80 views between them on individual hits. Impressive, considering I didn't even share one of them on Facebook... Plus Charlie Sheen's still a douchebag.

 Scary week in news though... Poor Japan. That Tsunami has left half it unrecognisable with all its sludge and water, and even Nuclear meltdowns now. Jeez, where are the Power Rangers when you need them? Still 12,000 people missing too, so this looks like it's going to take a while to die down. Uh, I guess that wasn't the best choice in words... Anyway, my thoughts go out to all those who have lost or are still looking for loved ones.

  On a lighter note, I got a job! Yep, that's right, I'll be delivering papers every morning bright and early! Not the most enterprising of career opportunities, but I'm 15, what do you expect? So that makes me £20 richer every week, allowing me to buy more things to RE:View! I'm just too kind to you guys. 

Family Feuds: An Editorial Piece

Family arguments; we've all had them. Whether it's over money or relationships, I think it's safe to say that everyone has had some sort of experience with a kindred dispute. But what are they good for? Who do they help? Why do they need to affect all of our lives?

  Of course, if the issue is over something very serious like murder, rape or assault, then such grudges can be understood. But what I'm talking about is those stupid little arguments, the kind that can easily escalate from something as simple as a misplaced comment.

 In these cases, I frankly find these minor squabbles rather pathetic, especially when it ends with a loss of contact between family members. If someone is angry over something that's been said or done, the answer is to see it from their point of view, not erase them from your life. You may not agree with their reasoning, and you certainly won't like it, but you must have some sort of understanding of how human emotion works, and that we all do stupid things at some point in our insignificant lives.

  Typically, the instigators of such spats are usually those who are most proud and stubborn. Those who refuse to back down on something, just for the sake of being "right". Well, newsflash for you uptight ninnies: Get down from your goddamn high-horse and show some compassion for Christ's sake. Because what you don't realise is you're making all those around you suffer, because of your ridiculous obdurateness.

  More than once in my time have I had some sort of restriction put on my activities (especially recently) down to these frustrating feuds. It's not my fault, it's not my doing and it's definitely not my problem. So why do I, and those also uninvolved, need to be punished? Can't people see the bigger picture; that for their stubbornness is ultimately sacrificing other's happiness.

What it really boils down to is plain old selfishness. Putting yourself and your feelings before others, that ends in harsh times for all. It'll be hard, and I respect that, but sometimes we need to compromise in order to protect the ones we love most. If we never forgive and forget, then how can you expect to move along, because the way forward is the only way to happiness.

 In the end, you only live once, and that once is never that long. So you've got to ask yourself, is it all really worth it? These objects of debate may be infuriating in the short term, but it's the long term that matters, so make it count. Let us not waste time bickering among ourselves and enjoy our time on this Earth. After all, life's too short, isn't it?

Charlie Sheen: An Honorary Douche

The face of a loser

Charlie Sheen -  America's (ex) highest paid actor -  has been all over the news recently, in relation to his drug scandals, porn-star problems and wife-beating, but what is it that people really think of him? Well, in a recent investigation, I found out...

 Now, the past few years seemed to have been quite the struggle for the Two and a Half Men star, as the effects of drugs, booze and sex have landed him in rehab/prison more than a few times. Countless marriages and children have been and gone for this obviously deeply troubled man, and with the ridiculous amounts of money he's paid, it's no wonder he's constantly hitting the coke.

 So surely, every good and decent person must hate the man, right? He's possibly the worst example ever of a successful actor and the best example ever of a class A knob-head, making him instantly despicable by the general public. But, strangely enough, that's not the case.

  Some people believe that this drugged-up girl-basher is cool, that the man is an inspiration. Of course, these kind of ideas have sprouted from this recent interview, where Sheen sits there, cigarette and beer in hand, casting off all criticisms as "passion" or "winning", even making up his own crazy little catchphrases like "Can't is the cancer of happen" and "I'm bi-winning". Describing his parties as "epic" and likening Frank Sinatra to, get this, a "droopy-eyed armless child", Sheen casually owns the interview with, dare I say, some sort of style. It's easy to tell that Sheen really does not give a shit, and from that aspect I can understand people admiring this kind of quality. But isn't this just sheer ignorance rather than apathetic attitude?

  Another word that came up when asking peoples opinions on Sheen was "courage", and this is something I can understand. You can't deny the man of his humongous balls, especially when he goes up onto roofs and shakes a machete around like he's freaking Danny Trejo. I certainly wouldn't have the kahunas to declare myself as a "winner" after all that stuff, although maybe that's also just a matter of ignorance and lack of a properly functioning brain.

 Thankfully, the majority that I spoke to regarded Charlie simply as "an idiot" and that "it's about time he got his comeuppance". His consequent firing from Warner Bros over his "moral turpitude" serves the smack-head right, and it's about goddamn time he stopped getting $1.8 million a week, just so that he could blow it all on his precious tardust and pot. But, naturally, Sheen claims he "never liked that show anyway". Yeah, just like how you got "bored" of drugs...

  In my opinion Charlie Sheen is a douchebag that can't handle the fact that all the terrible things he's done have finally caught up with him. All the domestic abuse, the drug addiction and everything else has pulled his world down around him, and fortunately he's suffered as a result, and I for one am happy to watch this over-paid bastard crumble to the ground.

 So Charlie, are you still "Winning"?

Trailer Tuesday: Source Code

24 meets Back to The Future meets... Thomas The Tank Engine?

I think the above statement just about sums it up nicely.

Well, another Tuesday, another trailer. This week it's Source Code, the new Techno-Thriller (ooh, fancy!) from the guy behind creepy sci-fi thriller, Moon. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal (Prince of Persia, Love and Other Drugs) it certainly looks to be as mind boggling as it is explosion-y.  Here's the plot:


"When decorated airman Captain Colter Stevens (Gyllenhaal) wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack."

Want some more P's? Hit here for a hallucinogenic-injection of HD-ness.

B-B-Break it down:

• 0:08 - Scene is set - Chicago. Government official lady talks about bombs on trains.
• 0:11 - And there is said train...
• 0:12 - First look at Gyllenhaal  as the story's protagonist, and he does not seem very well. Shocked and sweaty I'd say...
• 0:13 - Ah, and there is said bomb exploding in a fiery ball of fire, flame and fire.
• 0:15 - Mission reveal. SPOILER: It's a secret programme called Source Code (who'da thought it?), which apparently allows you to go back in time to relive the last 8 Minutes of someones life. Pretty cool, eh?
• 0:18 - And that's presumably how it happens - an awesome techno-web encases you in some sort of time bubble and transports you into the targets mind. Basically Inception with a DeLorean. 
• 0:21 - Classic "Wait a minute!" mirror glance.
• 0:27 - Michelle Monaghan as the film's love interest, but I speculate she could be the bomber/secret agent on the same job.
• 0:30 - Explosions + flailing = WIN
• 0:32 - Aaaaand... You're back in the room! Gyllenhaal awakens from the hellish mission.
• 0:36 - Yay! More bombs! This is like some sort of Al-Qaeda wet dream...
• 0:40 - Suspects, suspects, suspects. Looks like this may take a few tries, as he re-enters the mission.
• 0:44 - More techno-shizzle.
• 0:48 - Train re-explodes, like some horrible terrorist groundhog-day.
• 0:53 - Scientist reveals that Monaghan can't be saved.
• 0:57 - Incoming! Would not want to clean that up...
• 0:59 - April 1st. Not too long to wait then.

Yarp, that's all. Kind of a lazy one this week, does look interesting though. I love the idea of the Groundhog Day-style "Rinse and Repeat", where he'll be going back and back and back, each time unraveling a bit more of the mystery. I would like to note though that Gyllenhaal's character is not given this mission at the start of the movie, and is instead just thrown into it unawares of what the fridge is going on. It's explained better in this first trailer, which I personally prefer. Anyway, that's Source Code, I'm Arnie and this is over. See you next week.

The Sunday Supdate: 06/03/11

14+1=15

To me!

  Yep, in case you hadn't guessed it, I turned 15 this week; yesterday to be precise. Well, 12:34 yesterday to be really precise. It was good and I got some new stuff to keep me busy; a keyboard, some books and a few pairs of socks, to name but a few of the goodies bestowed upon me for simply living over 15 Summers. Being fifteen is cool too, seeing as now I can watch 15 rated movies legally and feel safe in the knowledge that my RE:View's aren't breaking the law in some way. Just you wait mister Indian cinema man who didn't let me into a movie once, because I'm gonna flash you my ID so hard your eyes will burn in the flurry of fifteeness!

 This week also saw my Hangover 2 analysation, roping in an impressive 29 views in just 5 days, and that was  just from individual hits on the post itself. Overall, I've gained over 90 hits in a mere week, boosting me well past the 700 hundred mark. If we carry on at this rate, 1000's going to be a breeze!

 Anyway, onto the future. I'll try to come up with another original article soon, along the lines of the "Phoenix Jones" and "Troller" pieces. The subject of said article is yet to be decided, but I've got a couple of ideas circling my brain like electrons in an atom (sorry, I've been doing a lot of science this week).  Maybe some news stories are in order too? Plus, I'd like to get some sort of book RE:View out there, just so I can have a little more to talk about than the bog-standard movies or games. Talking of books, I am completely swamped with them right now, juggling about 3-4 stories at once. Hopefully I'll be able to burn through them this week, freeing up some space on my bedside table.

Not much else to really say this week, and to be honest I don't think I've actually said that much here anyway. Keep checking back though, because I have feeling it's going to be a busy week on here. I don't know why... I can just sense it. Have a good one.

It's Doodle Day!

Third's a charm.

Crazy Pig

Doctor Manhattan Stick Man

And here it is, the aforementioned mind-blow of a picture:

Detective-Rabbit-Ketchup!

Hope your mind is now satisfyingly disrupted with images and thoughts of otherworldly beings accompanied by rabbits and tomato sauce. See you next time! 

Trailer Tuesday: The Hangover: Part II

100% Marvel-Free

The gang is back

That's right, the follow-up to 2009's smash hit comedy, The Hangover, has got a sequel: The Hangover: Part II. I think I can safely assume I've got your attention, because let's face it, who hasn't seen the original? Come to think of it, who actually didn't like the original? According to box office numbers: No-one. And it seems that that success is going to pour onto it's sequel, especially if it's "blow my own trumpet" trailer is anything to go by. Here's the new plot:

"Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Doug (Justin Bartha) travel to exotic Thailand for Stu's wedding. After the unforgettable bachelor party in Las Vegas, Stu is taking no chances and has opted for a safe, subdued pre-wedding brunch. However, things don't always go as planned. What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Bangkok can't even be imagined." - Collider Videos


And the trailer:

Press the left button on your wired rodent here to view in all it's 720 p's!

There's not much here but I'll try my best to come with some stuff:

• 0:12 - A dirty Bangkok corridor on some seemingly abandoned apartment building... Gary Thompson liked the first film.
• 0:17 - A dirty Bangkok apartment with a lot of booze on the far right... Peter Travers also liked the original
• 0:21 - A dirty Bangkok bedside with a mean looking cockroach roaming around the side of an ashtray... This is what Rodger Ebert is talking about, apparently.
• 0:25 - A dirty Bangkok bathroom, could really do with some Mr Muscle... Both the Times of LA and NY approve of The Hangover, and Glamour does too.
• 0:36 - A dirty Bangkok... Monkey!? Fully clothed too? Definitely looks like a convenient source of laughs. 
• 0:43 - The Wolfpack - Slow-Mo gangsta walk included - make their return, as they follow mentioned monkey.. As usual, Doug is nowhere to be seen... Wonder what it was this time? Alan's looking as awesome as ever though, with his straw hat and tucked in Labrador shirt. Plus, Stu looks like he some sort of tattoo on his face which I'll get into later...
• 0:53 - "The three best friends that anybody could ever have" are barricaded up in some sort of building - probably the apartment block from earlier. 
• 0:55 - Alan's bald! Or at least, he's head is shaved. Whether it's like that prior or happens during the crazy antics is yet to be seen. And you can also see that the monkey (perched upon Phil's worried shoulder) is in fact wearing a Rolling Stones jacket...
• 0:59 - Here's Stu and his new tattoo. It looks identical to that of Mike Tyson's tribal face design, so it could be a reference to the first movie or just another thing that happens in all the commotion.
• 1:03 - Releases Memorial Day (May 30th) in the US, so most likely sometime after here in the UK.

That's really just a teaser trailer and hopefully a full one will drop soon, fingers crossed. Looks like it's following the same formula as the first, in which we see them trying to piece together what happened the night before and find Doug. However, it does seem a lot darker than the original, so that could be an interesting twist. Perhaps they're going to get in trouble with the local gangs? Well, with Liam Neeson appearing as some "tattoo guy" and Bill CLinton making a guest appearance, it certainly looks to be quite the party. Anyway, here's hoping it'll be as hilarious as the first and not squander on the success of it's predecessor. But for a lot of us, May 30th can't come sooner.